You don’t need to be perfect & struggle-free (phew!). Two Truths.

This week I have had the privilege of doing my coaching & energy work with a healer in the States.  Anne (name changed) is a vibrant, warm, funny, big hearted woman that you just want to hang out with! You wouldn’t immediately know what a huge amount of loss she has been through in her life because she’s so good at presenting her positive, wise, highly capable side. I could feel it though sitting in her heart alongside the love & joy also there in abundance.

She said something about that that I have felt myself at times and you may relate to?

Anne was ashamed of her grief & of where she is struggling, she is a healer, great at helping others & is supposed to have it all sorted, right? 

This week, I have also just had the privilege of completing a Sacred Feminine Initiation Course with 20 women (started in Feb 2020 & stretched out until now because of the pandemic). A course where we all got to be on the most beautiful land together often sharing in circle by the fire over 5 residential retreats.

As I’ve listened to other women (now my great friends) share their truths, what has become clear is that whilst the details may be different, the themes are so similar, there is so much commonality, so much joy & grief understood and shared about so much. 

Hearing others speak, helps you heal, helps you feel so much less alone & realise there is something collective about our experiences.

We are all capable, strong & talented AND there are parts of all of us that feel broken, that come from our younger selves that had a hard time, that are in the process of healing. 

I said to Anne, that I feel like something of our shiny capitalist world has leaked into personal development, spirituality & healing—that the facilitator, coach or healer (or simply the capable adult, whatever job you do) feels like they must be totally healed & present a shiny, PERFECT surface…..just as we sell products that look shiny & perfect. 

That isn’t to say that the coach or healer & capable grown up in us, doesn’t have certain skills & lots of experience but that doesn’t mean that you have to ever be 100% sorted & fixed either. 

Actually, it is the struggle, it is the connection through the continued journey that makes you empathic, understand your clients and/or just be a caring & lovely person. Without your own rich, real life, what would you have to give? 

So, here are my two truths of the week:

1. You never have to ‘fix’ yourself alone in secret (because it’s shameful).

2. Struggle does not negate your capability & skill set.

And a third!…

Basically, you and all of us (even including me!!) are human. Our struggles shared are often our gifts to others. 

My wonderful healer client Anne, has begun the journey of releasing that shame. And so I invite you, if this resonates, to release a little more of your own too. We got this. 

’Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack, a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.’

Leonard Cohen.