Do you have a black hole?

What’s your answer to these questions?

Are you able to see and acknowledge your gifts and abilities?

Do you feel confident putting yourself out into to the world?

Do you feel that you have a good sense of your own worth?

How many times did you just answer ‘No’ or ‘Not sure’?

If it was 2 or more, then you might have, what is known as a Black Hole.

Do you have a black hole?

Do you have a black hole?

Uh oh.

What does this mean?

It goes like this:

You are Mrs StickLady number one (good drawing, right?!)

She can’t she who she is. She can’t see all her qualities, gifts and abilities….even the things she’s achieved and experienced.

stickman whole



Because she’s shoved them down a virtual black hole. She can’t see them! Just look what’s down that black hole:


stickman hole


It isn’t that you don’t have many wonderful qualities, gifts, abilities and could take confidence in who you are, you’re just not very good at seeing them. Because…well, look you put them in the black hole. The black hole of your mind!

If you could really see and acknowledge who you are then you’d feel so much more confident being you and making your mark in the world….don’t you think?

Not in an arrogant way. Especially the British ones amongst us just don’t like to blow our own trumpets.



But this is about a grounded acknowledgement of who you are.

Why don’t we naturally see who we are?

Here’s some possible reasons for you:

Your parents and teachers weren’t very good at reflecting back who you are (normally because they didn’t have that from their parents and teachers).

You found it hard to find your ‘thing’ (work, purpose, what you enjoy), you’ve felt lost in life.

It’s just hard to see yourself, it’s much easier to see other people and their gifts and abilities because….well, they’re not us.

It’s my job to help you to SEE YOU and not shove all your self esteem down a black hole. And believe me, like all good therapists and coaches, it’s takes one to know one. I can help with this because its been my journey too.

So, come on get those gifts out of that hole in the garden!


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