Are you driving yourself? Are you feeling the pressure?
Is it all feeling a bit too much lately?!
I notice themes. Themes for myself, my clients and friends. This week, many people have been experiencing a feeling of PRESSURE!!!! A feeling that there’s too much to do, things aren’t going the way they’d hoped and here’s the big one-that there’s not enough money.
And what is it that most of us do when it feels like there’s not enough money?
Number 1) Panic!!!
Number 2) Feel hopeless (and perhaps reach for one of those extra large chocolate bars you can now buy for £1) or a glass of wine (if you can still afford it). And say those things to ourselves like, ‘Why is it always so hard?’ ‘How come I’m such a loser?’, ‘What did I do to bring this on?’, ‘If only I’d taken that job offer of the job I actually hated or hadn’t gone on holiday or I wasn’t me?!’
Number 3) Start TRYING HARDER.
We get into a very particular mode. We get busy DRIVING hard.
Come on! We haven’t got time to dilly dally we’ve got to DO DO DO!! Come on get down on the ground and give me fifty press ups! Put your foot on the gas lady! If anyone’s in my way, I’m taking them down!
And dependent upon where your life’s focus is right now and where your biggest worries are, that is exactly where you’ll shout at yourself (although sometimes the voice is a discouraging whisper that tells you in all these ways you aren’t doing well enough and you’re so used to it that you think what it’s saying is fair enough and REALISTIC). So, if you run your own business, you might tell yourself that you should be working more hours, tweeting every five minutes and able to do twenty different jobs at once. If you’re a parent, you should be on top of all the chores (other Mums are!), if you have a job you should do it better and faster….you get the picture.
It feels hard. And those of you that are spiritual thinkers may be feeling like you’ve attracted all this, that it’s your fault, that there’s something you haven’t worked on with your chakras or maybe that the Universe is conspiring against you.
You drive so hard, you work (or can’t get started with work and mentally beat yourself for that too) and feel that pressure until you feel like something’s got to give…..and that thing might just be your head exploding!
I felt it this week too, one night I woke at 4am having dreamt that I was relentlessly smashing rocks, like I was in some kind of Neanderthal work camp. Isn’t it comforting to know though that it’s not just you? It’s not! This week I’ve seen so many people feel like they’re cracking under the strain. And when this happens I know there’s something spiritual going on, there’s a movement of energy that’s bringing something to the surface.
It did for me too.
Oh I see this pattern. This very Western Capitalist pattern of driving too hard because we need money (or whatever is your trigger). And it sucks you in because it seems and is REAL.
The pressure comes from really not having enough money or time or support or ….the resource we’re lacking. I’m not saying you’re making it up.
But, what if the response isn’t to drive ourselves harder whilst simultaneously criticising and blaming ourselves? That’s like driving a car, very fast whilst screaming at yourself that you’re a rubbish driver anyway and shouldn’t have been given a licence. I can imagine the looks from pedestrians as a deranged women speeds past shouting obscenities at herself.
Here’s the thing.
No matter what the external circumstances you do not deserve this treatment from yourself.
Let me repeat that.
No matter what the external circumstances you do not deserve this treatment from yourself
And let me add this.
It doesn’t help.
You perhaps intellectually know that worrying doesn’t help a problem, not sleeping and working too hard doesn’t either. But do you know it on a deep feeling level?
In fact it often hinders.
It creates stress hormones, exhausts you, creates tension, makes you argumentative and no fun and turns you into a robot.
You lose your bounce and spark and the glint in your eye. Your spirit feels like it has gone on holiday somewhere sunnier and happier.
What if the spiritual challenge at the moment is to rise to the challenge in a new way?
What if it’s about LOVING OURSELVES (sorry I said the cheesy thing but I think it’s true)unconditionally, knowing that we matter, deserve comfort and niceness, are loveable and worth it (as L’Oreal says) even in the hard times? In fact, even more in the hard times.What if we can solve the problems better, attract what we need, feel empowered and work more effectively from a loving space? A self loving space?
This takes TRUST. Trust that we’re worth loving, that it’s worth treating ourselves nicely. Trust that if you stop and take a short break to re-charge all hell won’t break loose and the world won’t fall apart. Faith that this new way could be possible and even work.
So, how about you stop driving for a moment. Imagine yourself stepping out of that car and into a rose garden or the whatever wonderful landscape is you can imagine. Breathe. Stretch your legs. Take in the smells, sight and sounds.
Connect with yourself by placing your hand on your heart and (this is the hardest part but humour me and give it a go anyway) say some lovely, comforting, kind words to yourself, words that make you feel you’re looked after, cared about and completely held. Do this every day because you deserve it. And now see what action you take and what the Universe delivers from this place, I promise it will feel better.
This is your real challenge. Good luck!