The Power Of The Truth—here’s my BIG truth about emotional resilience.
“How To Earn six figures.” This topic has been trending for a few years now.
There are a tonne of business coaches & ‘I’m-a-stay-at-home-Mom-&-I-had-one idea-about-a-green-health-shake-that-I-turned-into-my-dream-life-here-are-my-shiny-photos-to-make-you jealous’ gurus out there (constantly on my Facebook feed it seems).
Let’s cut the giant BS.
We’ve been having the same refreshing conversation again & again with our Wildfire Women speakers.
(This is the event I’ve co-founded with Cat Rose in Brighton on Sept 9th-10th 2017 in case you didn’t know!)
They want to tell the truth, from the heart.
They want to talk about the highs, lows & what keeps them going when there are obstacles in the way. What truly matters.
And yes, it’s possible to make money from your business dream (&/or get to whatever your personal goal is) but there’s no need for anyone to need to feel so terribly inadequate in comparison along the way.
It’s time to tell the truth.
Here’s one of my truths. A BIG one.
When I was 26 my body broke.
Prior to that, I skipped from unfulfilling job to job trying to make ends meet, had a nightmare of a relationship, had ignored my family’s dysfunction & the stress that created & couldn’t figure out my purpose in this life.
So, I stopped functioning.
Over a number of months I became more & more sick until the point I had to leave my job & could barely get out of bed.
It took 18 months to get a diagnosis. I had what’s now known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & it seemed to be a mystery to GPs.
I caught every virus under the sun & felt like a wreck. Finally seeking the help of a private doctor, multiple tests looked worrying.
Would I ever recover?
I wanted to understand the stress on my body that had broken it down. I decided to go on a mega journey of mind, body & soul to try to get better. This resulted in trying many doctors, alternative treatments, reading a g-zilion books & attending masses of personal development, spiritual & creative courses.
I started to learn about who I really was, what I really needed, that I had these things called ‘emotions’ (I’d learnt to suppress) & that I am a creative soul that needed lots of connection & expression (that I didn’t do well in the 9-5 drudge) & need lots of cuddles of course!
I woke up to some hard truths & I slowly began to heal.
We live in a world of instant results, of immediate ‘before’ & ‘after’ shots.
But what gets talked about much less is the time, patience & emotional resilience it takes to climb to the top of whatever your mountain is sometimes.
Recovering my health was a 6 year climb.
It was SO worth it of course. Truthfully, all these years later, I still have tears of gratitude in my eyes (how very un-British of me) as I write this because I’ve been well & full of beans now for longer then I was ill.
I’ve never stopped feeling grateful that I can dance, take a train or a flight, be busy (& feel ‘normally’ tired at the end of a day) & all the things that were denied to me for so long.
I don’t believe emotional resilience means staying in a state of hope every single day either—the truth for me was that I felt like I’d never get there, that someone else was doing it better & that I felt absolutely on my knees with desperation some days.
But underneath all that, part of me held some faith, listened to my intuition & managed to picked myself up & take the action I thought would get me there in the end.
Truthfully, I’ve felt the same with my coaching business & many other things in my life, none of which have been quite so huge a mountain, but still—most good things have taken time & been a rollercoaster.
One of these is that, I’ve found it hard to have a voice in the world when I was taught to be small, my survival felt tied into being invisible (not very helpful when you need to promote your business!).
The emotional healing continued beyond the physical.
I’ve had days when I felt like I should quit. Which of course, is occasionally that’s the best course of action—especially if you’re trying to climb the wrong mountain for you. But I needed to keep climbing.
Everyone around you is climbing an unseen mountain.
I see this in my life coaching with women everyday—the woman next to you may just have a different mountain then you right now but anyone trying to make a change, build something, heal or just figure out where they’re going is often battling something in secret.
And when, in our coaching sessions, the truth comes out & the decisions & answers come about where to go next, things really do start to change. Sometimes just saying it is enough.
I was recently so moved at ‘Belongcon’—the conference designed to build acceptance, community & belonging, created by of one of our speakers, Alice Reeves (& featuring one of our other speakers, Pippa Moyle). During the evening, each speaker talked of their personal battle with their mental health in a way you rarely here.
The courage on that stage was breath taking.
And at Wildfire Women we’ll be bringing it too. The truth will out!
The power of that is phenomenal, when we share—when you know that you’re not alone, that someone else has done it, is doing it & is sharing their vulnerability & the steps too that got them there too….well…
Watch out world. A hell of a lot can change in your life.