2021 was pretty intense, right?

Many of our patterns were brought to the surface in a thick & fast way for healing (although it may have felt like the opposite at the time, it may just have felt like things were harder). It probably felt like a bumpy ride but your soul learnt, grew & changed so much through the ways you navigated the personal rollercoaster as the entire world has been navigating a giant rollercoaster!

Have you had to be a warrior/warrioress in your life?

I believe that you’re stronger that you know.

I’m seeing a pattern come up for my clients at the moment (& me!) that’s ready for some healing.

The warrioress pattern means that you just get on with it! When there’s no one, it seems, to ask for help, to give you praise/encouragement, to support you or hold you in your fears or do the extra physical or emotional labour…..you just dig in & get on.

This week I have had the privilege of doing my coaching & energy work with a healer in the States. Anne (name changed) is a vibrant, warm, funny, big hearted woman that you just want to hang out with! You wouldn’t immediately know what a huge amount of loss she has been through in her life because she’s so good at presenting her positive, wise, highly capable side. I could feel it though sitting in her heart alongside the love & joy also there in abundance.

Some people’s stories stick in your mind.

Last weekend I was lucky enough to be running workshops & co-hosting (with an amazing team) at a ‘Sup & Soul’ Water & Wellness Day retreat in wild nature by beautiful a reservoir in Sussex. In my workshop, i heard lots of incredible stories from the wonderful women who attended. And this is where I met Laura (whose name has been changed).

She told us her story.

Laura had been in her corporate job for 22 years. Some years ago, when her relationship became violent and ultimately ended she clung to it even harder, feeling like it was her security, her only solid ground.

Do you sometimes feel low energy, depleted or burn yourself out?

Do you try hard, over-do or over give? Basically, put other things & other people first often?

I’m here to tell you….it’s NOT your fault (FYI this doesn’t mean you can’t change the pattern though).

The cause:

A message you were given in childhood (often not your parents or care givers fault either, they were most likely given the SAME message).

Last weekend I spent another beautiful day next to Weir Wood reservoir in Sussex with the Sup & Soul team (SUP stands for: Stand Up Paddle Boarding in case you didn’t know) & 16 women who came for a Water & Wellness Play Day.

One of my questions to the women in my Life Coaching Play workshop is, ‘do you prioritise yourself by letting yourself play?’

As they shared about this, one big theme emerged—GUILT.

Women described how they’d seen their mums sacrifice themselves, rarely allowing themselves time to follow their joy & that some were then strict as parents too. And though they were trying to change that they often felt guilty.

You have had many past lives- spoken in many voices & languages in a vast array of points in time & history.

If you were actually to see all the stories, you would not believe it. So many ‘yous’ -although this is the only time that ‘you’ have been the you that you identify with in this incarnation.

So many perspectives, relationships, landscapes and tales to tell….your story book could fill a library rich with colourful images-loves lost and found, children died & born, mountains & deserts & cities & cold, hunger, full bellies and laughter.

Every family line holds certain significant wounds (that can get repeated through history)—these can be entwined in the DNA through historic family trauma (which scientists call ‘transgenerational epigenetics’—a change in the structure of the DNA caused by a significant traumatic event such as the holocaust which can be measured in the DNA of future generations) and these wounds can also be energetically passed down the line if unresolved.

What’s the biggest fear I see in my coaching? No, it’s not the fear of public speaking or failure or killer sharks!

It’s the fear of other people’s judgement.

This week alone, in my sessions I’ve encountered:

A young woman afraid to put her holistic business on the internet because it might change the way her old school friends see her online.

An overworked mum & full time TV editor with small children afraid to take a career break because of what her generally dismissive mum might say.

How often have I heard this?

Is this the right path for me? If only I could just see to the end of it to be sure.

The Universe is telling me my [insert big idea or dream here] is wrong because it’s not going exactly to plan.’

Three weeks ago, I excitedly finished my new website. It had taken months to create and I was thrilled, ready to tell the world-I’d wanted to do this for years. But, what happened?

“Feel the fear & do it anyway.” This is a great motto & something that many of us are familiar with.

Most brave women I know, live by it. Or we try to. When we see an opportunity (even if we’re sh *t scared) we’ll step up & give the thing a go.

There are ways we all deal with our conscious fear or try to.

But what if the fear is subconscious, secret-lurking in the depths like a giant squid? It’s holding us back without us even knowing.

I first read Elaine N. Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person 10 years ago. I remember it struck a cord at the time- a big one. But then I forgot about it until a good friend reminded me about it recently. So, I dusted it off & dipped in.

Oh my gosh, I realised how relevant it is to my life, to many of my friend’s lives, to practically all of my client’s lives. It makes sense of the wonder, the struggle-the mystery and the magic of my existence and quite probably yours.

How do you keep positive today when what you’re striving for what seems a long way off?

Last year I read an article in Psychologies magazine, that keeps popping into my brain, called ‘The Long Game’. It was about a book called ‘Never too Late to be Great: The Power of Thinking Long.’ The well researched point of view (he’s read a serious amount of books) of the author Tom Butler-Bowdon is that due to our increased lifespans and the fact that most great things have taken many decades to achieve, we have far more time then we think to do what it is we want to do.